Grayson's Story

Chad and I were married in July of 2011. Neither of us were in NO way ready for babies, in fact we had decided we wanted to wait for a while. Of course though, like every other part of our lives, God had another plan.

The week after Thanksgiving 2011, Chad was giving me a hard time, joking that I was pregnant because I was a little "late". The next day I went in to refill my birth control (ironic. and yes - I was on birth control!) When I decided to pick up some pregnancy tests, just to be safe! Chad was at school and I was expecting a friend to come over for lunch but I decided to go ahead and take the tests really quickly.

The first test I took came back positive, I panicked a little so I took the rest of the tests. Right when I found that they were all positive, my friend walks in the door to me bawling my eyes out holding the tests in my hand. I was in such shock and I knew that we had planned on waiting and I wasn't ready for a baby! After telling her the news and calming down a bit, we decided to go for a walk. When we returned I was talking on the phone with my cousin asking her what I should say to Chad, little did I know, Chad had come home early to pick something up and was in the other room listening to my conversation. He sent me a text saying "whatever it is, you better tell me."

I motioned to my friend to leave and walked in to face Chad. I immediately started crying again, fearing that he was going to be so upset. When he asked what was going on and I told him the news I buried my face in my hands, he let out a little laugh and hugged me. He was so excited and reassured me that everything would be okay. The next day we went to the doctor to take another test to confirm that I was, indeed, pregnant. I was four weeks along, and my due date would be August 5th and the day after that we told our parents.

Skipping ahead to June of 2012.

We moved into our new apartment in northern Kentucky June 1st. A couple weeks later we had taken a trip to Anderson, Indiana to visit some family. We returned on Sunday night. Chad goes to work everyday so Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday was unpacking and pool-going for me.

Thursday, June 28th, Chad left for work at about 7am to get there early. I woke up at about 7:15 to go the bathroom, when I stood up from the bed I realized that I may have already went. The bed was dry but for some reason, I was wet. I immediately called my mom and she told me to call my doctor. By this time I figured out that I was feeling, what I thought were some braxton hicks. My doctor told me to come on in and to pack a bag just in case.

I immediately tried to call Chad but he wasn't answering. I got in my car at 7:40 and saw that I was out of gas! I pulled over at a gas station and as I stuck the pump into the car I felt water running all down my legs. I was so embarrassed and noticed that people were staring at me. Finally on the road, I continued to try to call Chad, he picked up and I told him about what was going on. He told me to keep him posted and I parked and walked in to my doctor's office.

When I got inside, I signed in and they told me that I'd have to wait for a few minutes. Soaking wet, I went in to the bathroom to change. They took me back and the doctor did an ultrasound to make sure the baby was alright, because I wasn't due for another 5 1/2 weeks. After everything checked out, she explained to me that I was, in fact, in labor. So she proceeded to finish breaking my water and SENT ME ACROSS TOWN, BY MYSELF, to the hospital. I had never been to the hospital here before! Even when I registered for delivery I was at the doctor's. Getting in my car I called my mom, my mother in law, and Chad to let them know I was in labor and headed to the hospital by myself.

Having trouble finding a parking spot I pulled into the staff parking lot on accident. A lady in the lot yelled at me and told me I couldn't park there. My contractions were pretty painful at this point and I explained that I was in labor. She pointed me in the right direction and I went on my way. With about 6 different people trying to call me over and over again, trying to drive myself, and contractions interrupting my driving every few minutes, I was struggling to finally get parked.

Upon entering the hospital, the person at the help desk pointed me towards the elevator and when I got there, there were about 15 old men in business suits. We all piled in, and they all stared at me, not showered, wet pants, 3 huge bags on my hip, when finally one of them asked if he could take me where I needed to go. I was SO grateful and eventually made it to my room and changed into a hospital gown.

In so much pain, the nurse poked a prodded and hooked me up to an IV. Eating Popsicle after Popsicle (because that's all I was allowed to have) Chad finally arrived at about 9am. At about 11:30 I got my epidural and shortly after that my parents arrived. Around 2:30  Chad's parents arrived and everyone started realizing that no one had eaten so Chad, his parents, and my dad went down to get something to eat. As soon as they had left, my doctor told me that it was time to start pushing! We hurried to get Chad back in the room and an hour later (3:38pm) we had baby Grayson in our arms. Weighing in at 5 pounds, 3.8 ounces, 18 inches long, he was the most perfect thing I'd ever seen.

They cleaned him up and took him away to the NICU. No one was allowed to hold him at first, because he was so early and so small he had to be hooked up to monitors that tracked his heart rate and temperature. Later that evening Chad and I were finally allowed to hold him and feed him. He stayed in the NICU for 3 days and made completely perfect progress, meeting all the goals and requirements he needed to before we were allowed to take him home.

He was the smallest thing I'd ever held, he smelt so delicious and I wanted to kiss every inch of him. His tiny fingers wrapped around my pinky, with room to spare. His hair was dark and soft and he looked just like a small man. His eyes were so big and when he looked at you the rest of the world was nonexistent. I wanted to hold him forever. I was madly in love.

So on a rainy Sunday, July 1st, we packed up our baby and finally took him home. We were so scared that we'd break him, but he was a perfect angel for us and we've had nothing but joy because of him ever since.

Gossip

Each year, like most people, I try to make some kind of New Year's resolution. This year I watched The Biggest Loser for the first time and realized just how important physical health was and decided that I wanted to get serious about taking care of myself and eating right. Having a baby makes you realize how much you want the best for them and it all starts with you! While I've been proud of myself for doing what I can to stay fit, my husband and I couldn't help but think that we wanted to make a more meaningful change. Gossip is such a huge part of life for a middle schooler or high schooler. But why? I guess that's where our society has led us...to believing that talking about each other, starting rumors, or making judgmental comments is natural, and adults are always saying "kids will be kids." A short while ago we were leaving someone's house and I realized that gossip isn't something that stays in high school. It follows us around for a while, and for some, it's something that we never grow out of. It seems like today, more than ever, adults aren't setting an example anymore. I say unacceptable! This isn't what Christ wants for us! Now, I can admit that, especially in the past, I have let gossip be a big part of my life. I've been burned by it, and I've also hurt others. In some ways, the hurt I've experience through gossip will never leave my heart because of how deep it scars. I didn't think I was a part of it anymore until I realized that letting others gossip around me, or not stopping it from happening is just as bad. Why do we do this? What is the point in all this petty, hurtful talk, and why do we let it take up so much of our time? In my opinion; jealousy....low self esteem...hatred...and boredom. For me and my family, this is going to be no more. We are going to soak ourselves in God's word, we are going to not let ourselves forget what our worth is, and what God's desire is for us and how we speak TO and ABOUT others. God says; "A GENTLE ANSWER TURNS AWAY WRATH, BUT A HARSH WORD STIRS UP ANGER" (Proverbs 15) If we have a problem with someone, instead of gossiping about it why not talk to the person themselves to solve the problem? When we are faced with conflict, instead of waiting to tear someone down behind their back, why don't we solve the issue peacefully and maturely like God intended for us to do. A good friend of mine once said; "it's hard to hate someone that you pray for." Which is something that I've always held dear to my heart. Praying for someone that you have negative feelings for really gives you clarity on what your issue really is with them, or if there really is an issue at all. It's true though, I've tried this...I have prayed long and hard for people that I have conflict with in life and even if they never stop the way they treat me, it is really hard to have negative feelings toward them! Another thing to consider is how gossiping reflects on you while you're doing it. Listening to someone gossip is not an attractive quality. And chances are, if you're anything like me, you'll learn that you can't trust people who gossip because if they're talking to you about someone else then they're also probably gossiping about YOU to someone else! Low self esteem, almost everyone deals with this at one time or another. It's such a natural part of life, but it doesn't have to be. I am constantly reminding myself that God is saying; "Do you know your wealth? It's more than diamonds hiding on a shelf! Do you know who you are? I've made you a shining star!" Wait, What? I'M worth MORE than DIAMONDS?? Yes, because God says so. If you can be strong in what God says about you and how amazing you are, then you are so much less likely to feel the need to tear others down to feel better about yourself. It really hurts my heart to think about all the people who are hurt by gossip. A cruel word can cut someone deeper than a knife. Seriously. I love the quote that says: "you may not remember what someone SAID or DID, but you'll always remember the way they made you FEEL." Gossip will always find it's way to the person it's about. And when it does, one person will be very hurt, and one person will be very ashamed. I found a quote online a while ago that my family is adopting as our new family motto and I hope that it strikes a chord in you and inspires you to not gossip, or let gossip happen around you: "ONLY LET LEAVE YOUR MOUTH WHAT IS HELPFUL IN BUILDING OTHERS UP!" Next time you think about gossiping or letting gossip happen around you consider these things: Is what I'm about to say going to hurt someone? How is what I'm about to say going to reflect on the kind of person I am? Have I tried praying for this person or situation? Would I be ashamed if this person found out I said this? What is something positive about this person or situation? Dear Lord, I pray that for everyone that reads this, and even for those who don't, that You makes us all less. All we need Lord is less of ourselves, and more of You. Empty us so we can be filled with Your love, and only the thoughts that You desire.